He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
