My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize