is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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