I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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