tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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