Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
