You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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