Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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