Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
