I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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