So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize