Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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