she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
