it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
