that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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