bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
