You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
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