its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
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She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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