so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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