He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
