she is the kim kardashian of front butts
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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