Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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