dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need a beard to bite.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
