I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm passing your future prison.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
