here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
