This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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