NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
