No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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