Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
