its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
