girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
