You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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