Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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