we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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