I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
