I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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