Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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