Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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