It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I am naked and annoyed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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