She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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