guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
