Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize