Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
