i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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