You're my little dorito
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize