I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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