I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
They are going to name an STD after you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
