I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
