Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize