but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
