dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
