I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
