Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize