I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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