you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Randomize
