Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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